...and the fight continues

With each passing day I keep telling myself that things will get better. But I know that for the next 10 weeks they will not get any better than it already is. I don't know how I will pass the next 10 weeks but the prize that awaits at the end of it keeps motivating me to go.

No...that's not true entirely. Nothing motivates me to keep going now except for the fact that I don't want my child to suffer for his entire life becuase I was incapable of bearing the pain. My body is shattered. It hurts to even move one foot now but a mother is born to bear the pain for their children. And that is what I am doing. My morning starts with the fear to pass one more day and the night ends with tears filled in my eyes pitying myself. Some days I just wish to end it all, I wish the baby was out sooner...but at the very same instant it scares me to see my child's future if he came out before he was ready and I find myself saying that I will fight for a little more.

I never understood the love and sacrifice my mother made to this extent till the time I discovered what HG was. My mom never went through this but she must have seen other things to protect me and to see no harm came my way. Of course...that's what moms do!!

I don't know how I will recover from my physical turmoil but no matter what happens...I will always love my children and I know they will always feel the love around them.